Dear me, 10 year ago,
You are amazing, and whole, and enough, just as you are, but I know you don't have the words or experience to know that and tell yourself that enough. At 21 years old, you are just finally coming of age, and so eager for "life to happen". You day dream about what your life might be like at 30, but it is hard to imagine. You hope you are married, have kids, have an amazing job, and you are trying so hard to do things now to get you to that end.
My wish for you is that you would turn more inward, and allow yourself to decide what you like, what you want to try, and who you want to be on your own, without the extra burden of trying to be someone for other people. I remember so much time and energy spent in those years trying to figure out what guys want and how to be a girl that someone else would want to be with. With that orientation, you are positioning yourself to be rejected, ignored, and taken advantage of. It's okay be rejected and ignored -- there is nothing wrong with you, and that is part of life, but it's not okay to be taken advantage of, and even worse to think that it is normal for that to happen. Care more for yourself, and stand up more for yourself, and learn to be comfortable with who you are, what you like, and what you do not like. Sometimes demanding respect means receiving less attention, and over time you will realize that is not a bad thing. Society has told you to lead with your body, and your sexuality, but experience will teach you to lead with your wit and intellect. With the latter, you will attract different people than the former - better people that will fulfill you, lift you up, and make you feel more whole, rather than less than. You have such a unique perspective on the world and an amazing thirst for adventure and discovery -- keep following those instincts and just enjoy the new learnings and experiences that every day has to offer. I can tell you, 30 is not a magic number where "life begins" and sense of self is complete -- I am still learning, growing, figuring out who I am, and figuring out how to stand up for myself in my relationships and career. It still often feels like it's a man's world, but you'll learn how to harness your own voice and your own power, and how to live the way that feels most authentic and fulfilling to you.
With love and gratitude, you 10 years from now
P.S. If you think Beyonce is the shit now, just wait...